Obviously, the relationship with a partner should be based on trust and it is difficult not to agree with this point of view. Trust is a particular feeling of complete calmness when any doubts are totally absent. Confidence in a partner is a feeling based on loyalty in the integrity and goodwill of one person towards another.

As a rule, when there is trust, there are no doubts. Once doubts arise, trust disappears very quickly.

Steps to Building Trust in a Relationship

Couples, in which partners trust each other, understand that a strong marriage does not appear occasionally. It needs to be worked on. In any strong relationship, both people should show that they value each other. They should appreciate other’s talents and achievements and even in the midst of conflict be able to comfort each other. They should empathize and support each other no matter what happens.

There are some essential steps to building trust in a relationship. Creating loyalty takes a focused effort. Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationship.

Make concessions

Concessions are the foundation of a lasting relationship. Observing the newlyweds the specialists concluded that the couples who subsequently managed to save the marriage had made compromises in 86% of cases. On the contrary, those who eventually divorced made concessions only in 33% of the time. The mistakes may happen in any relations. However, you should try to correct them. Remember that fixing things is the secret of high emotional intelligence couples.

Get rid of negative thoughts

According to a study by psychologists Elizabeth Robinson and Gale Price, negative thoughts prevent us from noticing half of the steps that a partner makes towards us. In such a situation, building trust in a relationship again is difficult. Learn to separate specific problems in the relationship from the general opinion about your partner. Try to replace negative thoughts with empathy and understanding.

Support your partner

The best way to avoid the negative comparison trap is to actively support and praise your partner. Thinking about him or her in a positive way should become a habit. Reflect on what you value and talk about these features regularly.

Start only soft arguments 

In happy relationships, people express bad feelings and sad emotions without recrimination. They usually talk about their desires and behave softly.

Make time for the two of you

We’re too busy. We should work a lot, spend a lot of time with our children and help our relatives and friends. Explaining why we have no time to engage in relationships is simple. Take the time to date. Have a heart-to-heart talk and keep creating rituals and traditions that bond emotionally. 

Building Trust in a Relationship after Cheating

Partners often have different ideas about what constitutes cheating. For some, virtual sex is an innocent entertainment, while for others, it is a betrayal. At the same time, there are individuals who are sure that watching a porn movie is a manifestation of infidelity. For them, registration and correspondence on a dating site even without real meetings can cause a divorce. In general, cheating is the destruction of trust due to the deliberate concealment of important intimate moments of one’s life from a partner. The main thing in treason is the loss of trust. This is important because the fact itself will remain in memory but trust can be restored. Thus, what are the best ways for building trust in a relationship after cheating? 

Telling lies is the most effective way to break up with your partner. However, if you want to build a relationship again, you will need to be completely honest and to work carefully. Trust is never restored just because one partner has stopped cheating. Telling truth is the only way to save the situation. A cheater stops being a cheat when he or she starts telling the partner about everything even about those facts the partner does not like. 

Here is a list of the most typical recommendations, which can save the situation or help in building trust in a new relationship. 

A Lie to Salvation is Also a Lie

Total honesty is a matter of behavior, not thoughts or fantasies. In case you keep communicating with your ex-partner, you should tell your partner about it. However, if you think that it might be nice to communicate with this person without any continuation, never tell about it to your spouse.

Active Honesty

The deceivers should learn to speak the truth. If your partner longs to know about something, tell him or her as soon as possible. In addition, you have to be prepared that he or she may become angry about this information. You see, the partner will be offended and angry much more if he or she finds out that you lied or hid the facts.

Former cheaters often complain that, despite their honesty, their partners do not trust them anymore. They find it difficult to understand that even a long time after the betrayal. It gets really difficult to unconditionally trust the person.

Trap of Deceivers

As a rule, there are many various difficulties on the way of the former deceivers. Even if they are going to become honest, they can end up in partial truth, when the information is presented in a mild form, or giving a  defensive or offensive reaction while expecting immediate forgiveness.

Every day of living together gives people a perfect opportunity to get closer to the partner or vice versa. If the person turns away from the loved one over and over again, then trust in the relationship disappears. Usually, it happens not immediately, but slowly and surely. As a result of the general accumulation of minuses, every person begins to focus on each other’s disadvantages, forgetting completely about positive moments. Initially, the basements of former appreciation and admiration disappear, and then in their turn, the so-called negative comparison comes. The secret to happy relations is not in getting everything. Being happy means noticing and appreciating what we already have.

Appreciate each other day after day. Restoring trust in a relationship takes time and effort. Only constant honesty can speed up this process. 

Anton Kurapov

Anton Kurapov

PhD, a professor assistant at Taras Shevchenko National University of Kyiv. Fascinated by the role of psychology in lives of people and simply astonished by the complexity of the brain and its functions.

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